Got worn out with the foreground..there is a wake there from the viewers boat, so trying to decide how much to make of it. It’s a common dilemma...in the close up you can see just how rough the painting is. When I put in that last blob of light next to the steam ship, I made it look like it's sinking..will fix tomorrow afternoon. The water will get sorted out I promise. I experimented some this afternoon. Getting quite dark. Snow coming and I’m not fond of electric lights.
I saw some the reason for my poor light when I went out yesterday. I had to go to West Lebanon NH for some errands, which I had tried to avoid, but ended up going anyway. The skies had these strange random wispies of clouds that were feathering out and just enough to change a crisp light to a sort of bleached out light. It makes the edges of shadows murky and the color in the sunshine that's left, muted and pale. I do not believe nor have I believed this is normal in my lifetime. I so miss clear blue skies. They are very seldom any more. So I didn't attempt to see my beautiful maples in deep snow on West St. The snow forecasted for this weekend, is no longer just snow, but a mix. How I hope they are wrong. I don't see a really good snow forecasted until the end of the month. How could they know this, this far in advance? The maple sap taps on my East Granville's family's farm is hard to get to when the snow is not deep enough. This is not normal. If anything could make me a little down, it might be these new normals. I try to not let it get me down, but it is in my face so to speak. I will pivot to something else to distract myself and move along.
My home is in order. The living conditions are cozy and pleasant. My studio is still waiting for me. There is nothing left to keep me out of there except my own reluctance to get involved. It's because I'm not sure of my direction. My good work ethic, is usually enough to overcome my lethargy or lack of direction. It's a balance..as it is not always just a matter of getting to work. There are issues I need to resolve within myself is likely, but it can't last forever and at some point, should just be ignored. Periods of lassitude aren't always predictable. Sometimes patience with myself is in order, so that the wells have time to renew and fill enough to supply me. I have a tendency to push myself. And that isn't always good. It sometimes means paintings are produced that strike me as busy work and that isn't at all a good idea. If I don't work, I feel I am missing the boat! Often it IS simply a matter of being in front of the canvas, picking up the brush and making those first dozen strokes and then I am involved. I'm mostly glad when I do this, because the reward is usually a fresh round of engagement. Sometimes paintings I'm not happy with, hang about and make me feel discouraged about their incompleteness in the satisfaction department. I know that addressing them is the surest way to move forward. I either destroy them, or fix them. I often just paint over them. I hate to waste canvas. It's so darn expensive! And I hate a waste of my own time that created work because I was afraid of wasting time! Paintings that are painted when uninspired, might as well be in the trash. But you still have to make the effort. I find that even the uninspired ones somehow have the ability to take off, as if you don't own them at all. Periods of wonderful production of a satisfying nature are gifts that keep one going. It is why we paint or create. Those wonderful moments are dopamine to an artist's being. No matter the frustrations, the at-one-ment with the miracle of creation, is the elixir that drives us back to our tasks. It is my fond hope, that viewers can connect with that in my works. It is why they would want to have the paintings, connect with that perhaps on a daily basis, and feel affection and a security in their ability to keep on connecting with it, the rest of their lives. I have good work our there right now. My career calls for a steady supply of more paintings that will inspire and be wanted. Knowing that they are wanted and appreciated is a big help of course. Because ultimately paintings are communicators. They are from my heart to yours.