I woke up at dawn thinking about painting and what was needed to bring my paintings in line with my ideals, and I thus began a morning focussing on the idea of transformation. It came to me, as I sat in front of the Yotul waiting for the fire to take hold, and watching the light rise over the pastures, that this is what we all are more or less involved in. When I got my hair done this past week, it was all about that lol! You could see the difference, it had been so long! It not only lightened my hair but my spirits as well. Feeling comfortable in the world, and presentable to others is a big thing. T.V. shows are all about the acceptance others need. One of my favorites is Queer Eye, and the loving steps they take each episode to love someone into improvement! They take people right where they are emotionally, and show them, they are wonderful people. I thought about the process of cleaning and how for some unknown reason as a kid, I fell in love with making a place clean and orderly, thereby transforming my surroundings and making it more beautiful and pleasant. I loved to use Windex! Everything smelled like Windex when I was through. A family friend inspired me, as her home was always VERY tidy, and my family home was anything but! But I had also my Aunt Gracie to thank, in whose home I spent great lengths of time, even a year or so with my sister at one point, in Florida, as my sister wasn't well and needed the warmth. Later, when my mother was often absent with work away, Annie the maid, made my world welcoming and warm, when I got home from school, the days she was there. I could smell the bleach of the laundry and the schorching heat from the iron. There was order when I walked in the house and it was an added bonus, when she was frying chicken for our dinner before she left to care for her own family.
The stove finally caught, and the door to it shut. The little convection fan on top began to spin madly. Tabitha had been out on the rockeries. I could see her weaving between the dead plants in the flower gardens, checking out the possibilities. I still pondered away. What had all this to do with my paintings? What a jag I was on! I am always inspired by the dawn, and the changing forms and colors it reveals. The pond rippled in the early breezes and the air was silent with no birds when I brought in extra wood. The greys and umbers of the tree line are fully lit now with massive pink clouds floating by. We expect snow tomorrow. Now that will be a transformation! Each and every painting is an observation of transformation. It's why I guess, it is so exciting to see what will happen. It's like reaching a mountain top as a goal each time. Sometimes I falter part way up, and there's nothing to do, but put one art foot in front of the other. Sometimes I must realize that the idea of that painting is not worth pursuing. It will never reach my ideal of transformation. Because the idea of that painting should make people feel the magic of arriving. It is the physical manifestation of that magic we all need to feel from somewhere, whether it is music, painting, literature or a clean house!
Tabitha is now requiring my lap. She is kneading my sweater and playing havoc with my keyboard and butting her head on the tops of my hands. I am giving in to my little companion. All else will have to wait.